Yesterday’s TV Today

First of all, where the hell is my fun folder?  I started it when I worked at BNQ and anytime I had a funny memo, idea or something like that, I put a copy in my fun folder…and now I can’t find it!  I’ve looked all over the place last night and tonight…that’s why I didn’t post anything last night, because I couldn’t find my fun folder!  So if anybody sees my fun folder (it’s a typical-looking folder, and on the tab, it says “Fun Folder”) let me know where it is.

 OK, time to move on.  Over the past couple of weeks, we lost two TV icons from my childhood…Barbara Billingsley, who was June Cleaver on “Leave it to Beaver,” and Tom Bosley, who was Howard Cunningham on “Happy Days.”  Both of these shows, one that originated in the 1950’s, and one from the 1970’s that took place in the 1950’s, were the epitome of family values.  They showed us what family life SHOULD be like.  The family always ate dinner together, solved problems together, and showed genuine love and warmth for each other.  I loved both shows, but when it comes right down to it, they weren’t very realistic.

 So I thought I would re-write the TV Guide previews from some of the shows I enjoyed when I was a kid, and make them more contemporary…and more believeable. 

 Happy Days: Richie and Potsie start re-thinking the term “Sit on it!” after Fonzie announces he is gay.  Pinky: Harvey Fierstein

 Leave It To Beaver:  Beaver is torn between his love for his teacher and his dislike of Wally’s best friend when he learns that Miss Landers is pregnant with Eddie Haskell’s child.  Eddie’s father: Gary Busey

 The Andy Griffith Show:  Barney gets “rubbed the wrong way” when he wears one of Thelma Lou’s dresses for a Halloween party and ends up in a cell with a very drunk Otis Campbell.  Barney’s psychologist: Christopher Lloyd

 Gilligan’s Island:  The Rolling Stones’ yacht gets stranded with the castaways, and The Professor finds a way to make heroin from coconut milk.  Keith Richards: himself

 The Brady Bunch:  Peter mistakes his dad’s Viagra for his morning vitamin, just as the rest of the family goes on a camping trip and accidently leaves him at home…with Alice!  Sam the Butcher: Joe Pesci

 The Partridge Family:  The band brings in a famous producer for their new album, and Lori ends up dead.  Phil Spector: himself

 Full House:  Jesse, Joey and Danny all announce that they’re gay…and absolutely no one is surprised.  Uncle Pat: Elton John

 Feel free to contribute to the list.  I’ll hopefully have some more soon.  And if you see my damn fun folder somewhere, let me know right away!

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About groovyrick

I live in a small town in Illinois with my wife and three kids. I am a part-time musician, part-time writer, and full-time dreamer.
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4 Responses to Yesterday’s TV Today

  1. Captain Jinx and Salty Sam: Captain Jinx learns the “hard” way about why Sam calls himself “Salty.” The Fluffer: Rollie Keith.

    • groovyrick says:

      Just reading Captain Jinks and Salty Sam made me laugh out loud! Then you even through Rollie into the mix! Kinda makes you wonder if either of them hung out at the Club Peorian.

  2. That should’ve been Capt. Jinks, I’m an idiot!

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