Musical humor

I started writing something that was a big of a downer for this post, but changed my mind. I wanted to do something upbeat and positive! So I’m going to combine my love of humor with my love of music and tell a few musician jokes. Musician jokes usually spotlight the drummer for some reason, probably because drummers always seem a little offbeat (pun intended). Guitar players are often viewed as egotistical, so they get their share of grief as well.

If you’re not a musician, please continue anyway…I’m sure you’ll get a laugh out of at least one of these. If you are a musician, I’m sure you’ve heard all these before…and please feel free to add any that you don’t see here!

Q: What do you call a person that hangs out with musicians?A: A drummer!

Q: What do you call a drummer in a suit?
A: The defendant.

Q: How do you get a drummer off your front porch?
A: Pay for the pizza.

Q: What do you call a drummer who breaks up with his girlfriend?
A: Homeless

Q: How can you tell if a stage is level?

A: There is drool coming out of BOTH sides of the drummer’s mouth.

Q: A frog and a drummer are travelling in the same kind of vehicle at the same speed on the same road…what’s the difference?
A: The frog is on his way to a gig.

Q: How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Eleven…one to change the bulb and ten to stand around and say “I could do that better”.

There’s got to be more, but I’m tired, I just watched the Vikings get their asses kicked, and I’m ready for bed. This is the best I could do. Hey, they’re not all going to be home runs, folks.

Enjoy!

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About groovyrick

I live in a small town in Illinois with my wife and three kids. I am a part-time musician, part-time writer, and full-time dreamer.
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One Response to Musical humor

  1. Themer says:

    Since you clearly are lacking in bass player jokes, I took the liberty of looking up a few for you. Don’t say I never gave you anything. 🙂

    Q. What’s the difference between a bass player and a pizza?
    A. A pizza can feed a family of four.

    Q. Why did the bass player cross the road?
    A. Because he heard the chicken was a slut.

    Q. What do you call a bass player with a beeper?
    A. An optimist.

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