The time has come. I really hate to use this blog to rant, but I can’t resist it anymore.
The latest list of inductees for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame was announced last week. Again, it showed what a piece of worthless crap the RARHOF really is.
Let’s start with the facts. I’ve never been to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Museum. Most likely, I never will. I would be far too critical. Would I love to see handwritten lyrics from Jimi Hendrix? Already have, at the Experience Music Museum in Seattle. Would I love to see “one of the most comprehensive Beatles Exhibits in the world”? I’ve been to Liverpool and London, stood in the lobby of the old Apple headquarters and walked across Abbey Road. You don’t get much more comprehensive than that. Would I like to see Del Shannon’s guitar? Well, ok…that would be pretty cool.
Let’s take a look at the 2012 inductees and, first of all, let’s see what they did right:
Donovan: Well, Donald “Donovan” Leitch isn’t exactly what I would call a rock and roller, but he did make some pretty good music. I always considered him England’s answer to Dylan. They needed someone who wrote deep, meaningful lyrics, played an acoustic and harmonica, and came along just in time for the “flower power” movement. They paired him with England’s answer to Phil Spector, Mickey Most, and the hits started coming, many of them featuring Jimmy Page on guitar. “Season of the Witch” should be enough to make him a legitimate inductee.
Laura Nyro: Laura is probably my favorite inductee this year. I LOVE the late Laura Nyro, who wrote some of the best tunes of the 60’s and 70’s for everyone from the Fifth Dimension to Barbra Streisand to Three Dog Night. “Stoned Soul Picnic”, “Eli’s Coming”, “And When I Die” and more. She played the Monterey Pop Festival at the age of 19 for cripes’ sake. If you want a good taste of her as a performer, check out “Eli and the Thirteenth Confession” or the classic “Gonna Take a Miracle”, an album of covers she recorded with LaBelle, produced by Gamble and Huff. Yeah, she’s RARHOF worthy.
The Small Faces/Faces: If you automatically think Rod Stewart when you think Faces, think back a few years. The original Small Faces featured Ronnie Lane, Kenny Jones, Ian McLagan, and a fantastic frontman/guitar player named Steve Marriott. “ItchycooPark” was just the tip of the iceberg. “Tin Soldier” is one of my all-time favorite tunes, along with “Afterglow” and “Lazy Sunday”. They were one of the best of the British Invasion bands. After Marriott left, Rod and Ronnie Wood entered the picture, and they still did some pretty great stuff, but were probably known more for their alcohol consumption.
Freddie King: I don’t know much about Freddie King, outside of what is considered his best-known song, “Hideaway”, and his mention in the Grand Funk classic, “We’re An American Band”. Don Brewer, who wrote “American Band” and included the line “Up all night with Freddie King…I got to tell ya, poker’s his thing” once told me the story behind the line. He said that they were on tour with King, who was an incredible poker player. According to Brewer, he would pay the members of his band in cash, then get them into a poker game after the show…and win all of his money back.
Don Kirshner: What can you say? He was the “man with the golden ear”, meaning he could hear a song and immediately predict if it would be a hit. 99 percent of the time, he was right.
Tom Dowd: Altantic producer extrordinaire.
They should have stopped right there, but nooooooooo. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame had to prove that they’re still suffering from an extreme case of head-up-their-asses-ness.
Guns n Roses: I know there are some GNR fans out there, but I’m not one of them. Never have been. Never liked “Sweet Child of Mine”. Never liked anything. Axl Rose? A wanker. Slash? Talentless. Izzy Stradlin? Really? The only thing that I think of when I think of this cast of idiots is a stand-up routine that Dennis Miller did several years ago. He merely said, “Izzy Stradlin got kicked out of Guns N Roses…what the FUCK do you have to do to get kicked out of Guns N Roses???” I know I may get some flack from people on this…all I can say is start your own blog and prove that I’m wrong.
Red Hot Chili Peppers: Never saw the attraction. Didn’t they used to go onstage occasionally in their underwear? What’s the point in that? The RARHOF website describes this band as “one of the most flamboyant, commercially successful and musically influential bands of rock’s last quarter century.” WTF? Who writes this crap? Who have they influenced? And if they’re so freakin’ commercially successful, where are they now? Why don’t you hear any of their music on the radio? Why why why?
The Beastie Boys: They suck, and they’re about as far from rock and roll as farting in the bathtub. In fact, I would probably rather hear the afore-mentioned flatulence.
In conclusion, look at it this way…should artists like the Beastie Boys and Guns N Roses stand next to Elvis, The Beatles and Little Richard?
Coming soon, who do I think should be in the hall of fame? And who do YOU think should be in the hall of fame?